I can't wait for turtle season

We all know that hunting and fishing are the ultimate sports - the embodiment of the struggle of man vs. nature. But with all the animal rights wackos getting in the way, afficionados of these noble sports have been limited to a few select species. Well, get ready, 'cause there's good news today:

Federal fish managers are proposing to relax rules designed to protect endangered leatherback sea turtles and allow some fishing off the West Coast under strict government supervision.

The changes, which must obtain final approval from the National Marine Fisheries Service, would open up drift gillnet fishing off the California and Oregon coasts from south of Monterey, Calif., to just north of Newport, Ore.

These gillnets are used to fish for swordfish. And swordfish are good eatin', too! Bonus!

The market for swordfish in the United States is strong, fishermen said. Without a loosening of the restrictions, imports will dominate the market leaving the species at greater risk because of the lack of regulations and higher turtle-population density in other countries, fisherman Pete Dupuy said.

And it saves American jobs.

Loose limits means lots of turtle stew:

Under the proposed changes, all fishing would be done under the eyes of government observers, who would track the number of turtles caught. The fishery would be closed if two turtles were caught.

According to research reports, the nets could also snare other protected mammals. Under the proposal, if one sperm, grey, short-finned pilot, fin, humpback or minke whale were killed or seriously injured, the swordfish fishery would be closed.

The number of sets — the number of times a fishing vessel can put out its nets — was set at 300.

If I'm reading this right, you can legally bag up to 600 turtles a year - enough so you can serve turtle at block parties, special events, holidays, whenever! Imagine the your dinner guest's happy surprise when you present the main course:

Me, I'm looking forward to decorating my den with trophy photos:

Why, even Glenn Reynolds might give up puppies for this...

I'm considering applying for one of those government art grants to fund a series of sculptures celebrating nature's bounty made entirely of turtle shells. That'll help get rid of leftovers...

Happy Hunting!